My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
