We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
