there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
