In the future we'll all be gay
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
