Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
