he thought i was a dude.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
