did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize