He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
