Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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