My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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