I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it hurts more in the daytime
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
