I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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