If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
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