It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
