and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
