Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
