I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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