I wannas sexs uuuuu
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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