is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
