if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
