Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
wow bdsm is so cute
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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