he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She announced her abortion via fbk
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
