I will die if light touches me.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
