Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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