We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
