i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
