i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This baby is an asshole
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
