sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
