no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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