It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
