somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
