I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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