maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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