Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
