A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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