My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
