I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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