I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
