And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
