i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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