Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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