So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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