Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
