I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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