scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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