did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
