can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
