is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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