It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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