Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
