OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
