Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
