nut hugger
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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