Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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