Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
