he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Life is so much better after having sex.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
