You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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