Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize