Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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