He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
