i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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