Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
