I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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