normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
