Nicole vs. Life
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
