someone get that fucking seahorse.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
