shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
then he tried to convert me to islam
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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