TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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