look no pants
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
