I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
