Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
