I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
